fever sleeves.

i look at my clothes from costa rica and am absolutely abhorred by the idea of wearing them again. i'm not the only one who feels this way. i lived in those bright, plaid work shirts for four months, and as great as they are, i think we need a break from one another.

I can't get over the dresses, the pearls, even lipstick? C'mon, what is this? I go to happy hour at Bourbon (new), dinner at Jaleo (not new). Get sophisticated at chocolate tastings in Chevy Chase, but will always be down for shouting along to Fugazi songs at Black Cat's "NO CONTROL." Vegan brunch at Asylum with old punks but where are my cutoffs?

So tell me. Tell me tell me tell me.

I'm growing up and growing out. I don't run on punk time. I don't run on punk anything, anymore. Well, nothing exclusively punk. I don't know, I just don't have the patience for it.

I really should clean my records.

So I spend the night packing for New York, listening to Q and Not U and wondering where this whole little world of mine went. When punk and DIY was all new and lively and vibrant. What year was it, 2003? When my co-worker at Teaism would play Q and Not U and Fugazi over the restaurant speakers if our general manager wasn't around. Summer nights at Fort Reno with Arizona tallboys and cupcakes by Kristen and fresh fruit from Whole Foods. What year was it, 2005? When I received dozens of mixes of music I didn't know (and now can sing along to whole albums by heart). And when did it stop? When it was more than just straight-edge or veganism, when it was a family. What year did we draw the lines? 2006?

"friendship and mix cds don't have expiration dates...mix cds are nice, but friends are better. friends aren't a commodity. if you lose one, there might not be one to replace them."

Does it really matter when it all fell apart? The point is it fell, and I can't tell you what I replaced or lost or gained. I can only tell you what I have, right now. And I have friends and family, shelter, food, health. opportunity and privilege. literacy.

I have enough to never be bored.